Saturday, September 29, 2007

I'll Pay How I Want, TYVM

Mastercard amuses me -- or used to, anyway. Visa pisses me off. Mastercard's whole "priceless" campaign has been fairly consistently clever. Well, lately, the Peyton Manning ads have grown tiresome. [Peyton Manning ads in general have grown tiresome. Are there products he doesn't endorse?] But they've had some of the more memorable -- and therefore effective -- commercials. Some are poignant, but most are humorous. The concept has been parodied on billboards, in sports stadiums, and even on the internet for years. Well done.

Then there's Visa's most recent slew of ads, in which they show a shiny, happy place of business where everything runs smoothly until some asshole comes along and has the nerve to pay with cash. Everyone in the place looks at him with a combination of scorn and horror. How dare he, right?

How fucking patronizing!

Hey, Visa? Bite me. If someone wants to pay with cash, don't make them look like an idiot. They're probably doing it because they recognize the value of a dollar and understand the concept that owing a credit card company money is a losing proposition. Yes, your commercials are for your debit cards, which aren't nearly as evil as credit cards are, but people watching the ads aren't focusing on that distinction.

I want someone to make a commercial like that in which everyone's in the 15-items-or-less line paying for their last-minute football-game-watching snacks with cash, looking at their watches and doing the hurry-up-dance. Then some prick yanks out his Visa to pay for a Zagnut and a Red Bull. Cut to the cashier rolling her eyes as she swipes the card and waits for the approval to come through and the dual receipt to print. As he waits for her to hand him the pen with the plastic pinwheel taped to it so he can sign the merchant's copy, the fans beat the living shit out of him. Death takes Visa.

Incidentally, not to piss on New Orleans' grave, but Visa's most recent ad that follows this concept is a double-failure, as the Saints now sit at 0-3 after making it all the way to the NFC Championship game last year. Last year was all about spirit. This year, it's kind of amazing how little they've been able to accomplish by contrast.

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