Friday, December 24, 2004


Packers 34 - Vikings 31

The Green Bay Packers are back-to-back-to-back NFC North Division Champions!!!

For the third time in as many years, the Packers have clinched the NFC North Division title... and they did it by beating Minnesota 34 - 31 for the second time in as many meetings.


Longwell? Super. That's a last-second field goal for the fourth time in the last seven weeks.

Defense? Not so much. We couldn't tackle! I think we actually made only three decent tackles in the entire game. We're going to need to fix that if we expect to advance in the playoffs.

The O-line started a bit shaky, but ended up playing a really solid second half.

Driver had a great game. Brett threw an interception (that turned into a defensive TD, unfortunately), but also completed some amazing passes to our own guys.

In the end, we're the victors. That means we're the guaranteed #3-seed in the NFC, and that we get a home playoff game in a couple of weeks. Sunday's games may determine how that will all pan out, or we may have to wait another week.

There's actually still a chance that Minnesota won't make the playoffs at all! They'll have to beat a grass team outdoors to do it. More likely, though, they will... and they may even end up being the team that comes to Lambeau. If so, maybe we can plan yet another 34 - 31 victory. I'm pretty sure that is unprecedented in the NFL. If it's not them, we will likely be playing a team that does not even have a winning record, thanks to the lackluster performance of NFC teams this year.

Now, remember that we still have another regular season game to play next week! We need to go to Chi-town and show the Bears that meeting Lovie's edict was a one-time thing.

Next week doesn't matter right now, though. Right now, there are two words that spring to mind:
Merry Christmas!!!

Thursday, December 23, 2004

Uma as Ulla? Ooh, La La!

Far better than Anna Nicole and Nicole Kidman combined.

Ew: Anna Nicole Kidman. Sounds kind of like the female equivalent of The Wolfman. Or just a real skinny bitch with huge knockers, a fucked-up accent, and some killer drugs.

Wednesday, December 22, 2004


We were 1:08 away. This Touchdown/2-point conversion followed a decent drive and brought us to within 3. All we needed was to get the on-side kick back. Definitely too close for comfort. Also, my first loss as a fan in the stands at Lambeau. Now, there's a streak I'd prefer to see end quickly.
© 2004 Andy Stoffels

Tuesday, December 21, 2004

Adding Insult to Injury

Packers 25 - Jaguars 28

Oh, what heartbreak. Yes, we are in the playoffs (thanks to #4 on the list, actually), but we sure would've preferred to get there on our own. We sure would have preferred to see Detroit pick up the football after muffing the PAT snap and throwing it into the end zone for 2. We sure would've preferred to see Fergie get up after that play rather than have to get carted off. We sure would've preferred to have an officiating crew that was the least bit consistent in their calls!


Fergie went home from the hospital today, and Darius got a $75,000 fine from the league, which he says he'll appeal. He says he didn't intentionally try to hurt Fergie with that hit. He says he "was just running over trying to make a play, trying to separate him from the ball." He practically separated his head from his torso. The replays I saw showed his arm up above where the ball was. The Jags all say it looked clean.

The only positive that came out of that was that the 15-yard penalty that was assessed helped us turn a 31-yard completion into a 46-yard gain. Unfortunately, it led to Brett's second end zone interception of the game. That just kills. In a game where we had almost 450 yards of offense, we were in the red zone I think five times and got a total of 3 points out of it.

So much to lament over, but now I'm just looking ahead to the game in a few days, when we meet a Minnesota team that actually has Randy Moss. I'm hoping for a victory for Christmas, not just because it would mean we'd win the division for the third year in a row, but because it would mean we swept the Vikings and helped them complete their annual collapse. I'm feeling too much like I felt at the point in the season when we were 1-4, though -- not much hope.

If Santa really is a Packers fan, then look for a Merry Christmas indeed.

Friday, December 17, 2004

Win and In

From this week:
Green Bay can clinch playoff berth with:
  1. GB win OR
  2. GB tie + STL loss OR
  3. GB tie + CAR loss or tie
  4. CHI loss or tie + STL loss + CAR loss + DAL loss or tie, OR
  5. CHI loss or tie + STL loss + CAR loss + TB loss or tie + SEA win, OR
  6. CHI loss or tie + STL loss + NYG loss or tie + DAL loss or tie, OR
  7. CHI loss or tie + STL loss + NYG loss or tie + TB loss or tie + SEA win, OR
  8. CHI loss or tie + NYG loss or tie + DAL loss or tie + CAR loss, OR
  9. CHI loss or tie + NYG loss or tie + CAR loss + TB loss or tie + SEA win
Note: Green Bay may clinch a playoff spot based on strength of victory tiebreaker if GB loses, CHI loses or ties, and any two of the following occurs: NYG loss or tie, STL loss, CAR loss.
Got all that?

Look: I'm just going to stick with my original plan, which was to scream my lungs out for a victory on Sunday. #1 on this list is what matters, period.

Thursday, December 16, 2004


One of the automatic exit doors at the Kohl's on the west side of Madison continually refuses to open for me when I attempt to exit through it.

Every time I walk out, as I just barely stop myself before running smack into the door, I am reminded of "Bart Sells His Soul."
Jimbo: Way to breathe, no-breath.

Tuesday, December 14, 2004


I can't believe this is as remarkable as it is, but I wanted to document the fact that I was able to fill up at the Mobil for a total of less than $30 for the first time in ages today.

Also, I remember visiting my sister in Atlanta less than ten years ago and getting gas for 79.9¢ a gallon.

Sunday, December 12, 2004

Too Close for Comfort

Packers 16 - Lions 13

At this point in the season, it's all about wins and losses, and -- thanks to yet another true Longwell field goal at the end of the game -- this was a win. Better yet, thanks to the Seahawks' victory over the Vikings earlier this afternoon, it's us in true sole possession of first place in the NFC North.

In the long-run, though, a win like this -- while both exciting and a relief -- really doesn't exactly scream "juggernaut" for the Packers. I would argue that our team has not really changed much all season long. It's not that we haven't improved enough, it's really more like we haven't improved at all. Our weakest link is our defense. We aren't consistent enough to stop our opponents, and you know what they say: "Defense wins championships." This year, the team we've allowed to score the fewest number of points against us has been the Lions, who scored 10 the first time we met. The average number of points against us through 13 games is 24. That's about 14 too many. In '96, all of our opponents -- through 19 games, including the Super Bowl -- scored a total of 258 points against us. In 13 games this year, we've already allowed over 300.

This game was a story of two halves. We didn't really show up for the first one. Brett didn't even complete his first pass until there were 7 minutes left in the half! However, in his defense, the wind was really just howling up at Lambeau (and here, too, actually). Detroit sure didn't seem to be having too much trouble with the weather, though. My guess is that Sherman ripped a few heads off at halftime, since they played much more inspired football in half #2. I'm inclined to think that the Lambeau crowd had a lot to do with it, too, though. The Lions started off with a bunch of stupid defensive penalties which helped us march down the field. Every one of their mistakes fueled our fans, and it got loud. We came away with only 3 points, but it made a difference. It's like, once our offense proved to themselves that they could actually score, it made it easier for them to do it again.

Some contrast with our last 16 - 13 victory: Against the Texans, we killed ourselves with offensive penalties leading to 1st-and-longs we could never seem to convert. (Today, it wasn't 3rd-and-long we couldn't convert, it was 3rd-and-2.) In this game, we killed ourselves with defensive penalties. If Gimli is smart, he'll challenge his players to go a whole game without penalties. Today, we had 9 for 95 yards -- that's basically 5 away from giving away a TD. Last week, we had 12 for 99.

I have high expecations for the Jags game next week... 'cuz I'll be there. Chris and I make our annual trek to Lambeau for that game. I'd love no penalties! Better yet, I'd love to watch the Vikings complete their annual end-of-season collapse at Detroit on the TVs in the Atrium before our 3:15 kickoff! We're back to controlling our own destiny. We can't squandor another opportunity like this. We win out, we win the NFC North... for the third year in a row. With all of the streaks we seem to be ending this year, it'd sure be nice if that was one we could continue.

Friday, December 10, 2004

Scooping TV Guide

Just for the record, TV Guide's Michael Ausiello owes me. His blurb about Nicole Kidman dropping out of The Producers was published nearly three hours after my post this morning. In it, he suggests that Anna Nicole Smith might make a good Ulla.

Obviously, he's a faithful reader of this blog.

Hey, Mike? Next time, at least have the decency to cite me as a source. Sheesh.

Oh, Darn

The best news so far about the new Producers movie musical.

Now it will be awesome. Sorry, Nicole. You're just no Ulla. Now as long as they don't go for, like, Anna Nicole, things are looking rosy for this pic. With so many B-way stars -- my "colleague" Gary Beach included -- already signed to play parts, and with Stro directing, I'm sure they can find some quality actress in and around NYC who have actual acting experience and won't be annoyed by having to fly out from the coast to film their role. Go, Mel, go!

Monday, December 06, 2004

Indirect Brush with Fame

When Dad was here last week, I helped him sell some items on eBay. He and Mom used an unlocked GSM phone and a couple of sim cards to stay connected while they were in Italy and France, and since they're home now, they really had no more use for them. I'd never sold on eBay, so it was new to both of us. The Italy card sold with only one bid, at the starting price, so no big profit on that one. The French card, on the other hand, had a few bids on it.

This morning, Dad called and said that the winning bidder ("skaterdad") turned out to be Olympic figure skating gold medalist Scott Hamilton.


Sunday, December 05, 2004

NEWS FLASH: Packers Under New Ownership

Packers 17 - Eagles 47
PHILADELPHIA - Sunday evening, the Green Bay Packers announced that they are no longer owned by their fans. In a surprise move, the Philadelphia Eagles were named as the Packers' new owners.

In a related story, the Eagles have also announced their ownership of the entire organization of 116 NFL officials.
Yeah, that sucked. Now, let me post something which should be extremely unpopular: I didn't expect the Packers to win this game today. However, I did allow myself to believe some of the hype surrounding the game; especially from those suggesting that these two teams were well-matched, and that the Pack at least had as good a chance as any NFL team to surprise Philly. Many this morning suggested (in the same stories where they wore out "fourth-and-26" yet again) that "it should be a fun game to watch." That would have been nice.

I am most upset about the end of Brett's streak. Apparently, this is something he really didn't care that much about. If he'd cared, then when Craig Nall got us down near the goal line after a pass interference call against the Eagles, Brett would have hopped off the bench, snapped off his stocking cap, and tossed one into the end zone. He stayted put. Nall got two passing TDs in his stead.

Sigh. I fear this is really the beginning of the end. Maybe our young, inexperienced defense isn't enough to keep Brett here much longer. If so, then the Jags game just popped up another notch on the list of the most important events in my life. It may indeed be the last home game for Packers quarterback Brett Favre.

It may just be the loss talking. I hope so.

Friday, December 03, 2004

New PC, Anyone?
© 2004 Andy Stoffels