Finding Serenity

USA Today sucks; I think we can all agree on that. Chris just informed me that they (some stupid chick named PUIG) gave Serenity just two stars. But then, in my Google News search for "usatoday.com serenity" to see it for myself, I also stumbled across this article about how awesome a moviegoing experience seeing Serenity was for one woman and her husband.

There was a great interview with nerd Pied Pipers Joss Whedon and Neil Gaiman in TIME this week. In it, they talk a bit about their krelboyney fan base (of which I am proud to count myself a member). Basically, it's "geeks, unite!" time. Finally, we all have something that we can enjoy together and not be considered losers. I think "Lost" is in the same vein as "Firefly"/Serenity, in fact, in that you have to actually be smart to enjoy it. Of course, even if you're not, both "Firefly" and "Lost" offer something for you, too, and you probably won't be excluded by those of us who do get it. We've all been picked on way too much up 'til now to turn into bullies ourselves.

Well, except for Miss Puig. She's a loser and should be shunned.

Now quit reading this and go see Serenity. I'm on my way now!

0-3

Packers 16 - Buccaneers 17

Today's Firsts

• First time we've started 0-3 with Brett Favre as our QB
  
• First time we've lost to the Bucs at home since Favre started
  
• First time Ryan Longwell has missed a PAT in 157 tries (nice job, Sander)

Yuck.

At least we played better today. I have a feeling we're going to have to learn to enjoy games like this again -- the ones in which we have little victories even though they aren't actual victories. Sheesh, there's a blast from the past I was hoping not to have to relive until after Favre retired. I still want to believe that won't happen for two or three more seasons... but now I don't know what to think. Looks like maybe we're past the leave-'em-wanting-more exit. Although...

Conspiracy Theory Time
Perhaps the plan from the front office is to let Gimli and the rest of the coaching staff make all of the poorest decisions they can this year, leave with a bad enough record to earn a decent pick in the draft, clean out some of the losers, get some decent veterans on the team (a la Reggie), and get Brett back to a Super Bowl or two.

I can hear you laughing; stop it.

Oh, and the refs really SUCK this year (and relax -- I'm talking across the NFL, not just for us). Um, guys? Yeah, how about we don't blow the whistle unless we know for sure that something has occurred that clearly indicates that the play should be over, mmkay? Oh, and let's not just assume that any given player will do something because we've seen them do it on tape before. Sound like a plan? Hm?

Making Myself Feel Better Time

• Green Bay's average strength of victory in regular season games won vs. Tampa Bay at Lambeau since Favre started: 9.2
• Tampa Bay's average strength of victory in regular season games won vs. the Packers at Lambeau since Favre started: 1

Stats can be fun.

To the Browns?!?

Packers 24 - Browns 26

I just have a rhetorical question to lead this one off: Exactly what type of defensive sheme are you running if a single missed tackle results in a huge touchdown run? Happened twice in yesterday's game. Twice.

Reggie was crying.

I don't fault the fans at all, BTW. They were doing everything right. We're just suddenly back to not being a very good team, that's all. Remember when Ray Rhodes was coaching? Yeah, even then we went 8-8. With this kind of play, we'll be lucky to win that many. Cripes, the Bucs are undefeated. We're... totally defeated.

Hey, at least both Minnesota and Randy Moss are 0-2, too. ...Like that really helps.

The good news is that Brett became only the third QB in NFL history to surpass the 50,000 yard passing mark on Sunday. And immediately afterwards, he ran for 20 yards. That was cool, at least.

3 and Out

Packers 3 - Lions 17

3?!? WTF is that? That, my friends, is the lowest score we've mustered as a team with Brett Favre at the helm. Ever. That is the first time in almost five straight years that we haven't scored at least one touchdown in a game. That is one tough way to start a season.

Not helping: Shitty officiating. Ahmad Carroll was called for stuff while he was on his way to the bathroom during halftime. But let's just say for the sake of argument that only half of the calls were crap. Even then, that's still over a hlaf-dozen penalties we actually did commit for 50 yards. The officials gave the Lions ten points. We scored three (3?!?). They won by four. Damn.

And since when, by the way, is a ball traveling forward out of a quarterback's hand considered a fumble?! Three words, Triplette: Incomplete forward pass.

Oh, and Walker's injured. It's probably an ACL. He's probably going to be out for a while.

Ask me if I am surprised that our offense did more poorly than our defense in this game, and I'll quote Clark Griswold: "If I woke up tomorrow morning with my head sewn to the carpet, I wouldn't be any more surprised than I am right now." We had four three-and-outs in a row in the second half.

I'm getting dyspeptic. I'm stopping.

I hate September 11th.

Amen, Brother.

Amen.

Oh, and Happy Blog Day, too.

Improv Sanz the Funny

Forgive the deep link, but Ang was so right. Horatio Sanz is a complete doofus. He does not belong in the class of people who should be considered either funny or professional in any way, shape, or form. He was on as a guest on UCB’s ASSSSCAT on Bravo last night, along with some actual funny guests like Tina Fey and Andy Richter.

He’s just not even remotely humorous. He’s unfunny in the same way that Chris Rock was unfunny when he was on SNL… you know, back before everyone thought he was such a goddamn genius. People: His brain is absolutely kluged from all the drugs. Both of ‘em! They seem like they’re baked all the time. The only people who think they’re funny are frat boys (and other similarly intellectually-stunted mimbos) and themselves. Both of them wear a stupid “I am funnier than shit… heh, I just thought the word shit,” George Bush goof-ass smirk constantly. Go get hit by buses, both of you.

Sorry. I’m beginning to see that this post might be construed as somewhat bitter. I have a cold. Apparently, my drugs just aren’t good enough to yield a permasmirk.

I guess Chris Rock is almost tolerable – he’s now lauded for toeing some racially-infused lines and saying what he thinks. Personally, I think Dave Chappelle pulls it off better, and I’m not convinced that he’s as funny as everyone thinks, either. Guys? Your message might have some more credence with fewer drugs and f-bombs. Just a tip.

Lean

Preseason
Packers 21 - Titans 17

A win is... um, hard to come by. Yes, it was a win, but our starters didn't do too well. Two minutes into the game we were already down by a TD and working on a drive that would yield us a grand total of -5 yards.

One highlight: In a move reminiscent of his efforts in last year's Giants game, Brett came off the bench, injured, and threw a touchdown pass to Javon Walker!

Otherwise, just pretty crappy until the second half (in half #1, we gained 4 first downs to Tennessee's 12), when our scrappers came in and pulled off three interceptions against a bunch of truckers.

Meanwhile, I was busy coming in second place again down in the Monroe Poker Tour. I think that's the third time in a row. I'm not complaining; I keep getting my money back.

The NFL season kicks off this Thursday night, but for Packers fans it really starts a week from tomorrow. I'm hoping for some miracle games this year. Otherwise, what the prophets say just might come true.